Anger Management Techniques for the Easily Frustrated
If you are someone who tends to get frustrated easily and express your anger before thinking things out, there are tools that you can use to deal more effectively with these types of situations. Sometimes we react with a knee-jerk reaction and don’t pause to reflect before acting. All we want to do is vent our anger, and do it right then and there.
The pause is very important as we can evaluate things and question the reactions instead of automatically buying into them. When we buy into them we convince ourselves of their truth and have no room to question our perceptions or assumptions. We need to take a pause and look at the reaction and situation, rather than just have the first impulsive response that comes to us (which generally comes through an unconscious route).
Anger management doesn’t just apply to domestic violence, road rage and postal workers having a bad day. It is something that can be used in daily life even for those small irritating scenarios that often seem to pop for some of us. For instance, a friend may be late in meeting you. Do you start having thoughts revolving in your head that you are being slighted, taken for granted etc? It is good to give the person the benefit of the doubt when they arrive. Do they have a legitimate reason? Do they have a pattern of being late and making you wait? Is it not just you they are late for, or are they just the undependable type in general?
We all are subject to delays due to traffic, a boss asking to see us after work or a home situation crisis. Even if your friend is repeatedly late, you can best communicate with them by being assertive rather than angry. For instance, tell them that you feel you are being taken advantage of and give examples of their tardiness with you using past examples. But in doing this you must stay calm, but be clear when you speak. This is much more effective than yelling in anger. Sure it’s hard to do for many of us, but nothing works right if you scold them or belittle them with a loud angry voice.
In addition to communication, using simple breathing techniques can clear your mind and allow you to approach the situation without being impulsive. Breathing helps to keep the mind centered and focused and this will allow you to compose your words carefully.
The point isn’t to let someone treat you poorly, but to first listen and hear them out. If it seems that there is an ongoing pattern of no respect by the other person, then you need to speak out appropriately. On the other hand, if the situation is one where the person is late or has a valid reason for their behavior then try to be understanding and treat them how you’d like to be treated in a similar situation.
Above all you need to think clearly and don’t let your anger get in the way of solving the situation or helping to prevent a repeat occurrence. Let the person know in no uncertain terms how you feel about being inconvenienced but without scolding or getting riled up. You can do it once you vent the anger feelings and become your calm self again.
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